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12 Steps

The 12 Suggested Steps of Capitalists Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over capitalism - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us and the rest of the world to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of humanity as we understood it.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
We were honest to ourselves and to others as to the exact nature of our wrongs by complying with the capitalist system.
We were ready to do something about the capitalist system ourselves.
And, with a little help from our friends, we were ready to do it.
We worked out who our lifestyles harmed, and worked out how not to harm them.
And we stopped harming them.
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
And sought to improve our conscious contact with humanity, hoping only for knowledge of how to make things better.
Now, having had an awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to capitalists, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The 12 Suggested Steps of Windows Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over Windows - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that an OS greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Linux as we understood It.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of PCs.
Admitted to linux.org, to ourselves and to another peripheral the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have Linux remove all these defects of Windows.
Humbly asked Linux to remove Windows.
Made a list of all proprietary software we had used, and became willing to make amends for it.
Uninstalled such software wherever possible, except when to do so would crash the OS.
Continued to take an inventory of our PCs and when we found proprietary software, we promptly removed it.
Sought through forums & blogs to improve our conscious contact with Linux, as we understood It, hoping only for knowledge of Its functions for us and the power to carry them out.
Having had a electronic awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Windows users, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

And the original, which would be funny is it wasn't so serious

The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.